Saturday, April 23, 2011
Pain is Relative
What was memorable about the hour in the water was not how well I felt but how others around me were feeling. Two people caught my attention—a middle-aged man and young woman. They were both in a great deal of pain. In fact, they said so.
I recognized the tight facial expressions and stiff posture, and my heart went out to these two strangers. That acerbic saying, "I feel your pain," took on new meaning. But even more meaningful to me was the realization that everything is relative, especially pain.
A nagging headache may not be a migraine, but it hurts nonetheless. People tolerate pain differently. Some can take a lot; others not so much. Some days are pretty good; some are terrible. Some people wear pain on the faces; others hide it well. Out in the world, most of us aren't as open as we may be in the safety of a warm-water, therapeutic setting.
We encounter people every day—those we know and strangers—and we have no idea what they are feeling inside. It's worth remembering that it might be pain.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Social Networking Really Works
Grace read a comment on Facebook that mentioned something I had written. She looked up my Website and called me. Amazing! I had written about a book called Life is a Verb by Patti Digh. Patti responded (who knew?), obviously having better Google Alerts than I do. So, now we are a circle, Grace, Patti, and I.
I have never actually talked to Patti, though I want to buy her book for everyone I know. But I have talked to Grace, who is caring, considerate, and compassionate. I have a feeling many people feel that way about her.
That's what social networking is all about: reaching out, connecting, engaging. It's not just a theory; it's the real thing. You never know when a new friend is going to show up.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
THINK before you hit "publish"
This means millions of potential readers—500 million on Facebook alone! Is that fantastic or what? Well, on one hand, it is every blogger's dream to have such a huge audience. But on the other hand, consider "or what."
Let's say something is driving me crazy—the way Congress is behaving, perhaps. That is definitely one of my favorite subjects for a rant. So, I write a scathing post, check the spelling and punctuation, and hit the publish button. Immediately, millions upon millions of people will know I am not happy with Congress right now. But what exactly did I say?
I view the blog post and must admit I came on a little strong. Maybe I could soften it a bit. Well, no, I can't. It's too late to rethink my pearls of wisdom when they are instantaneously soaring through cyberspace. They are out there, published, and very public.
Whoops. Maybe I should put a little note to self on my computer. It will simply ask "Do you really want 500 million people to read this?" No? Then, do not under any circumstances hit the publish button!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Measuring Success by the Numbers
It was a small class—only eight people—but most of them showed up every week. Only one person dropped out. Some never wrote a word, but two have nearly finished their proposals. I was feeling a bit disheartened until I realized that two out of eight equals 25 percent of the class!
I have always maintained that if I could influence even one student, I would consider a class a success. That means I achieved 200 percent of my goal. It doesn't take a math genius to see that as a very positive outcome.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Request for Rebuttal
That's fine if what I write is entertaining or educational or erudite. Not so fine if it's going to make you run for the bottle of Prozak. So, here is something positive for those of you who are checking Facebook or LinkedIn or Twitter or Amazon this evening.
In case you thought John Wayne was just a cowboy who didn't say much, here is something he said that may surprise you: "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday."
Wow. I love that!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Loss: the Absence of What Used to Be
We know what loss is, of course. We have something, and then we don’t have it—a love affair, a marriage, a promotion or a job, a parent, wealth, a dream. We had it; we lost it. What’s left is a hole where it used to be.
Years ago, one of my favorite authors, Judith Viorst, wrote a book called Necessary Losses. It was psychoanalytic in nature, which made my head spin. Why, I wondered, are losses “necessary?” Personally, I would have preferred them to be optional.
Buddha may have asked the same questions when he set out on his quest for enlightenment. Why must we lose everything that matters to us—love, youth, health, beauty, security, even life? His answer: impermanence. Everything in life is in flux, constantly changing, ephemeral. In other words, nothing lasts.
Frankly, I don’t find that very comforting thought. Yet, it is so obviously true. I can’t think of anything that stays the same even from one moment to the next. When I am able to sit very still for even a short time, I become aware of the subtle changes taking place all around me. Even my thoughts come and go, capturing my attention, then dissolving—a perfect example of impermanence.