All We Need is Time

You can't learn the important lessons in life from a book, though God knows I've tried. I've read tomes on philosophy, religion, mythology, and other sources of wisdom until I'm bleary eyed. But other than achieving an intellectual awareness of these profound teachings, I can't say I have reached enlightenment.

Years ago, when I was in my twenties, a much older person (he must have been at least forty) told me: "The longest journey in life is between intellectual understanding and emotional understanding." I had no idea what he was talking about then. Now, fifty years later, I get it.

Still, the insights come in their own sweet time. The other day I realized once again that feelings that seem to be cast in stone can change, given enough time. Nothing lasts. Everything in life is born and dies and, in between, is constantly changing. That certainly includes emotions, opinions, and beliefs.

If only we could change the feelings we don't want without waiting for years and years to pass. After all, it's not like we have forever to make that journey.

Niki's Secret

My friend, Niki, seems to take everything in her stride. She is so easygoing and upbeat—sometimes in the face of events that would depress Pollyanna—I finally asked her to share her secret. I had to know how she achieves such equanimity. She told me she has two guiding principles (I know I am butchering them as I attempt to quote her):

1. You have no idea what's going on, and
2. Whatever you think it is, you are probably wrong.

Talk about words to live by! Think of all the times you've gotten your nose out of joint because a friend made a hurtful remark, the check-out clerk at the grocery store was sullen, your mother criticized your haircut, a client didn't return your call, or someone you don't even know was rude. Did you let it ruin your day, or did you remind yourself you had no idea what was going on behind the scenes of that person's personal drama? It could be any one (or more) of a hundred things, but if you tried to figure it out, chances are you would fail.

I've given a lot of thought to Niki's philosophy—sometimes even at an appropriate moment—and I've come up with a postscript of my own:

3. Whatever happened, it's not about you.