My life, my resposibility

I relearned an old lesson today. This has happened in the past, but every time I learn it, I am surprised. It is as if I had never considered this idea before. Yet, it is so obvious, so fundamentally true, I am always amazed I have forgotten it.

I am responsible for my life. That's it, in a nutshell. I am the captain of my tiny vessel floating around in the sea of life. I am in charge of the route I choose, the decisions I make, my well being, my happiness, my responses, my actions. Everything.

That's a simple but powerful thought. In one way, it's scary; in another, it is liberating. As an adult, I have choices. But with choices comes responsibility.

This came home to me in two ways yesterday. The first was disturbing. I was talking to a doctor. When I complained that I was unable to reach him by phone or get straight answers to some important questions, he explained that he had thousands of patients of which I was only one. I guess I indicated that I really didn't care about the thousands of patients. He became irritated. He said, "This is your illness, not mine. It's your responsibility to follow up, not mine. You are responsible for your medical care." No mistaking that message!

Later, I was reading a book on the power of focus by Leo Babauta, and suddenly there were those words again in an entirely different context. "You are responsible for your life." I read it again. I fully expected to see a sky-writing plane overhead with the same words trailing behind it.

Funny that I have to keep relearning the same lesson again and again. I swear I'll remember it this time. Maybe I should write it on my hand in indelible ink.

A Year of Learning Life's Lessons

This has been a year of "lessons"—some revelatory, some repetitions of those I had learned and forgotten. I heard myself say "aha" so many times it became a private joke. I can't remember a year when I was so conscious of what matters and what is a waste of the space it was taking up in my brain. Permit me to share a few of my epiphanies with you.

1. Don't let a little tear in the fabric of your family become a huge rip. Do whatever you can to mend it while you can.
2. They say you can choose your friends but not your family. Good friends are family—the family you create by choice.
3. Moods are energy, and energy is contagious. If you don't believe it, see what happens when you smile and say something pleasant to someone who is crabby or rude.
4. Feeling OK is not the same as being healthy. Health is a gift, but you can do a lot to make it the gift that keeps on giving. Don't take it granted; life can throw you a curve when you least expect it.
5. Work is not labor when you are enriched by doing it. It is not about money or what others expect of you. Doing what you love and loving what you do is like hitting the jackpot every day.

All We Need is Time

You can't learn the important lessons in life from a book, though God knows I've tried. I've read tomes on philosophy, religion, mythology, and other sources of wisdom until I'm bleary eyed. But other than achieving an intellectual awareness of these profound teachings, I can't say I have reached enlightenment.

Years ago, when I was in my twenties, a much older person (he must have been at least forty) told me: "The longest journey in life is between intellectual understanding and emotional understanding." I had no idea what he was talking about then. Now, fifty years later, I get it.

Still, the insights come in their own sweet time. The other day I realized once again that feelings that seem to be cast in stone can change, given enough time. Nothing lasts. Everything in life is born and dies and, in between, is constantly changing. That certainly includes emotions, opinions, and beliefs.

If only we could change the feelings we don't want without waiting for years and years to pass. After all, it's not like we have forever to make that journey.